Ugly Ducks, Sewing Machines, And the Impending "B" Word

God it's been ages.

I'm a busy kinda gal. Even when I'm not, feels like I am.

My diabetes is doing fairly well. A1C is down to 6.5 and that's fabulous, especially considering it was 8.2 when I was diagnosed. My sugars have been just a little higher lately, because of a medication change, but they are still within the acceptable ranges of normal.

Emily is in the fall musical at the local high school. They're performing "Honk", which is the story of the ugly duckling. It was written by the same team who wrote Marry Poppins and Peter Pan. It's absolutely adorable. Jessica is working on the costume committee. She certainly loves to sew. She's becoming quite good at it also.

Jessica just turned 14 on September 5 and I'm finding it has me a little panic stricken. This means she's graduating in about 4 1/2 years....which seemed a lot further away a year ago. I don't want her to grow up and leave. *sigh* I don't want either one of them to. I'm going to have the worst empty nest syndrome of any mother in history, and she's the one most likely to leave and move far away because of her dreams. Don't get me wrong that's WONDERFUL, but still...I can't help but be a little selfish. It hurts. Emily, on the other hand, will be here forever. lol Well, not HERE, here, but she's like me. She wants to be close to me and her Nana and the family. We have strong roots in the KC area, particularly in Belton. Jessica, though, will move from place to place her whole life cause she loves that and she's just got that kind of personality.

Me... I got a bday coming up on Thursday. The big 36...ok, so it's not a landmark, but now I can officially say I'm pushing 40. lol Unlike most people I look forward to 40. According to my mother that's the age for her she suddenly didn't give a damn what anyone else thought any more. I want to get to that place. I am frequently, but not usually. I think it's that secret that makes being middle aged so cool. Just being yourself and finally saying "to hell" with everyone else. I try to do that as much as possible, but I will admit that it does sometimes bother me if others don't like me. Still hurts my feelings sometimes. I want to grow past that crap. See, I still don't feel like I'm a grown up. I have two half grown kids, a husband, a dog, a cat, a car payment, and all those financial responsibilities that go along with being a grown-up, but I don't feel like one. I'm still such a kid, with the exception that I'm not fond of cartoons, but I never really was. I was the one who wanted to watch "Meet the Press" when I was 4 and my dad wanted to watch "Woody Woodpecker". lol I keep waiting for the feeling of the responsible, reliable grown-up to take over, but it never does. I dunno, maybe that's a good thing, but it also means I never feel like I'm in control of the situation of life. Ok, so maybe that's the secret. All those grown-ups I thought had it so together when I was a kid didn't have any control over anything and weren't quite as "together" as I thought they were. lol

I am enjoying my music, although our camcorder is broken and being fixed right now. Hopefully will have new videos to post in a few weeks. I have recently been appointed as the editor and coordinator of the Unity Village Chapel e-newsletter. I am also the team leader of the "Core Values" committee at UVC, which is responsible for creating and defining the core values of the church. These values govern everything that UVC, as a community, does. If it's not in line with the values, we simply don't do it. So, it's an important responsibility, and one I take very seriously. I'm learning a lot about myself and how I need to align myself with what I consider my own core values. I am a work in progress, just like everyone else.

So, that's me, right now at least. :) I'm ever-changing and I love that.

Love to anyone who reads this.

Nikki